Today, during your game, you didn't pitch well. You had a few strikes and struck out 5 batters over 2.5 innings. But you walked. A lot. And gave up 18 runs. But you kept going. Never gave up. Never got upset or showed any emotion. You just kept throwing. For the first time, the coach pulled you. I honestly didn't think you realized what that meant, and you were definitely tired. After the post game huddle, you walked over to me and immediately tears started flowing and you buried your face in my stomach. "I pitched bad. I threw too many balls". Somehow, you know and you were disappointed in yourself. But I was still so proud. Proud that you kept it together. Proud that you kept your head in the game and didn't get upset until the game was done. Proud that you just kept throwing.
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Tonight you had 2 boiled eggs (with lots of salt) and 2 apples for dinner. And you sat in the recliner and ate while watching Henry Danger and YouTube videos. And I folded laundry. It was just the 2 of us (the boys were at basketball practice). And then you had Flaming Hot Cheetos for snack... Every day after school, you like to "check your points" to see if you got any rewards that day for behavior. And then you show me all your class work from the day. Today, you got your first "AP" on an assignment. And it was Math. You were so excited. We've been working really hard on Math, Reading, and Social Studies after school. I love for you to see that hard work pays off. Recently, you got to have a friend over after school. We went to Michael's to get supplies to make slime because that was what you wanted to do. It went great (except somehow you ended up getting the slime stuck to my ceiling...). These days, you will only wear your hair up in a ponytail. And you are very particular. There can be no stray hairs and I have to us hair spray. You tell me how pretty my hair is and you wish your hair looked like mine. And you will only wear leggings, black leggings. This can be a battle in the mornings since sometimes they aren't clean. You have like 3 favorite outfits that you want to wear all the time. And the same old hand-me-down white Adidas. I guess you just like to be comfortable. I have to learn to let some things go. You don't like going to dance anymore. It's been hard, lately, with the weather. You're stuck inside after school and most weekends when we're home. It's been too cold to play outside. You've started playing basketball in the driveway. Sometimes with the boys. Sometimes by yourself. We spend a lot of time together. A lot. Traveling to and from games, dance, practice, school, the rec.....We are together from sun up til sun down, you and I. Most times we bump heads and it can be a struggle. But you always say the right things at the right times and know when I need a hug the most.
She's all about playing some catch these days. But, this. This right here. This is what I love about this girl.
Fabulous. Independent. Vivacious. Energetic. Today, we went to Busch Gardens. It always surprises me that you are so fierce and strong-willed, and yet you are afraid of so much. You beg me to let you watch scary movies, like Scream or Jeepers Creepers. Yet Daddy had to force you on the carousel (which you liked, by the way, once you realized we didn't lie to you and it didn't go fast). In your defense, and my surprise, we convinced you to ride Roman Rapids (I might have lied and said it was just a boat that floated in circles). But you absolutely loved it. Sometimes, you can be very stubborn and set in your ways. You love the bumper cars, the swings, the airplanes, and the hot air balloons. That's about it. A few things about you these days. You are THE pickiest eater. You're more of a snacker. It worries me. You love to go grocery shopping, especially since Food Lion now has these little carts for the kids to push around. Except you tend to sneak things into the cart when I'm not looking. You loved staying home with me this summer. We had a blast, and I am so thankful for this time with you. You (finally) love swimming in the pool. All of a sudden, you overcame your fears and just started swimming. And jumping in, even going under. Something I've realized about you -- you do things in your own time. You don't like to be pushed. And you are hard to persuade. Lately, we're struggling with your attitude. You are full of sass and very demanding. You don't ask for a drink. It's just "I want a drink!" If you don't get the answer you want the first time, or the second, you will ask the same question repeatedly. Over and over. And the whining. For the love of God, this is the worst. I don't remember this ever being an issue with the boys. You whine about anything and everything. And then there's my personal favorite, when I ask you to do something, ie "We have to take a bath, Bella", and you respond "Nope. I'm not doing it!" with your arms crossed over your chest and that petulant look on your face. I have to remind myself I'm the parent, the adult. Because I really want to lunge at you and....well, it drives me crazy. And I HATE to brush your hair. You fight tooth and nail the entire time. But, in the end, I prevail. But for all the attitude, your cuteness surpasses it all. You are truly unique. And you are the funniest little girl I have ever met. Everyone loves you. You make us all laugh. With your outfits. Your dance moves. The hoarding (or stealing). The way you always remember where you put something. And your mannerisms. It's the headbands, the several outfit changes per day, the duck lips, the peace signs, the way you know every word to all the songs (Drake or Florida Georgia Line), the dab, the rain boots, the eyeliner and lipstick. You're exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time. You love fiercely and I love that about you. You make me see life through a different perspective. I have to remind myself to take a step back and see what you see. Your excitement makes my heart burst. Did I mention you love strawberries? Happy birthday, baby girl!
Your birthday is in 4 days. You will be 4 years old. I asked you what kind of party you wanted to have and you replied, "a strawberry party". So that is what we are doing. And if anyone asks what you want, "strawberries and grapes". About 2 months ago, I made a life changing decision. With support from Daddy, I decided to quit my job as a cardiac nurse to become a school nurse. This is a very big change for me, and I will admit, I'm a little nervous. But I know it will be the right decision. For me. But especially for my family. You and the boys. Because I started to see how quickly time is passing. And it's time that I can't ever get back. I have been home for the Summer now the past 2 weeks with you and your brothers. It has been great. There isn't as much time as I had originally anticipated. But I've learned to let go of some of my expectations and just live and more importantly, relax. This time off (and being home and always together) has been a transition for all of us, and you've become very attached. Especially at bedtime. I'll take the blame for this as I have not been very strict with this and have gone to bed with you (or at least laid down with you until you fell asleep) more often than not, thereby encouraging this bad habit. I keep telling myself that I will have time at the end of the summer to work on getting you back to a good nighttime routine. Baseball season has finally wrapped up and this has freed up some time for us. We spent a weekend in a hotel in North Carolina for Cameron's All Stars tournament. You were in heaven with all the other kids. You love going to baseball games. You get filthy dirty, you rarely wear shoes, you love the "session stand", and you especially love all the attention from the older girls (letting them dye your hair, paint your nails, and put makeup on you). You are such a busy little kid. You'll insist on getting in the pool or hot tub, but after less than 10 minutes, you are done and ready to go back inside. You don't do one thing for very long before you've moved on. My house is always in a state of chaos. You ask the same questions repeatedly, always wanting to know what we're going to do, where we're going today, who's going to be there. These days, you are coloring a lot, and we spend time together doing this. But I've had to take away your markers today because, after telling you over and over again, you not only colored on your stuffed animals, but yourself. You also love play-doh and playing with your babies. You always ask to play with my phone. You like to watch youtube videos. You will play songs and dance for me and Daddy. You can rock some Whip & Nae Nae and your favorite song is Chandeliers by Sia. You are starting preschool at Barefoot Kids in the Fall. I'm excited to see how much you'll grow and how much you'll learn. I'm not looking forward to the those first few weeks. It's going to be an adjustment, especially after the time we've had off together. And it's another milestone that I'm not sure I'm ready for. It's cliché, but time has flown by. Some things are getting easier, and I welcome that. But with this, it just means you are getting older and more independent. We have 4 more weeks home before it's back to the real world.
Happy birthday, Baby. Dear Bella.
I wish there was more time. You are growing up way too fast. Today, I realized that this Fall you are going to start preschool, the same preschool both your brothers attended, but there were much younger. I was always ready with them. Ready for them to start preschool. Ready when they started kindergarten (even Jackson; he was so independent and more than ready to "leave the nest"). With you, it's different. Not sure if it's because you're a girl. Or because you're my baby, my last. I can't stand the fact that you are growing up. It physically hurts my heart. This week, you are going to start your first ever dance class. Not sure if you're going to like it or not. I think you will. You are such the entertainer. Your favorite Christmas present is the guitar and microphone stand from Mimi. I knew you would love it. You used to walk around here "strumming" on a small basket, mimicking your idol, Laurie Berkner. Now, night after night, you walk around playing your new purple guitar, singing One Direction into the mic (or your own original song, "the trampoline song" - it goes like this ... "daddy loves him, and Cameron loves him, and mommy loves him... but we don't wanna be like that!"). So, I knew it was time to put my little performer in dance. With Jack & Cam busy with basketball, and at 3 1/2, I figured you were ready to do your own thing. Tonight, I picked up your ballet and tap shoes from a friend. You loved wearing the tap shoes and actually wore them around the house all night, refusing to take them off. You keep asking me if you're going to "go to class" tonight. You have no idea what it's going to be like, although last week I took you by the studio and you were in awe of the little girls in their tights, tutus and buns walking around and I almost couldn't get you to leave. Yeah, I think you're ready. You're so darn cute and entertaining. Everybody who meets you falls in love. Every little girl thinks you are the coolest; which helps me out because they love to hang out with you at basketball practice and keep you entertained so I can watch your brothers. The weeknights are exhausting. As soon as we get home, you change into some ridiculous outfit, which often includes a skirt or tutu, pajamas, knee high socks, boots. And often layering tutus. Or a bathing suit. You constantly ask for a "snack", one after the other. Dinner schmminner. Bedtime is even worse. You ask for "two more minutes" or "one-twenty minutes". You beg for Mommy to lay down with you. You usually end up in our bed in the wee morning hours. And then you insist on taking showers with me every morning. I absolutely love this age. And you. You are so much fun. Even though you are the messiest child I have ever had. And the most dramatic. You make us all laugh. Even your brothers. No one can stay mad at you. Love you. Momma (I love it when you call me Momma). P.S. As I type this, you have somehow finagled yourself out of bed (almost an hour after Daddy put you in your bed) and you are downstairs on the ccouch with me and Cameron (your partner in crime) watching Full House (your new favorite show, thanks to your cousin, Syd). |
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November 2018
AuthorMy name is Kaci. I am a working mom of 3. Wife to Josh. Mom to Jackson, Cameron & Isabella. My life is dinner, homework, baseball, basketball, grocery lists, laundry, middle school, wine, video games, and schedules. I started this blog because I love taking pictures, and I needed a place to document our life. I wanted a place to write it all down, to remember little details so easily forgotten in the mad rush that is the life of a family of 5. Through my photos and words, I endeavor to capture our story. Categories
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